Dry your eyes, Giants fans.
Put the Kleenex away. Your eyes are getting puffy. It’s not a good look.
Yes you (pointing) – the apologist in the Beckham jersey. I’m talking to you.
In fact, go to Party City, get some football themed tablecloths, use blue masking tape to cover the “1” and the nameplate of your ODB jersey and strap yourself to the back of the Geno Smith bandwagon.
“HERESY!!!”
I can already hear you screaming.
Calm down. Exhale.
Jerry Reese just did you three HUGE favors, Big-Blue Nation:
1- He has exacerbated the already remarkably negative sentiment against soon-to-be-jettisoned head coach Ben McAdoo, who is as lame-duck a coach the League has this side of Chuck Pagano, thus making his impending dismissal more of a cause for celebration
2 – He spared you an entire offseason of “Should we keep Eli?? What do you think??” talk
And, most importantly
3 – He figured out the only way his team can absolutely stop winning
“WHY ON EARTH…??? STOP WINNING??? WHAT THE….???”
Close your eyes, all you blue-clad fanatics. (That’s what fan is short for, you know. Fanatic.)
Let’s do some guided meditation.
Imagine you are in Dallas
CLOSE YOUR EYES, I SAID! HEAR ME OUT!!!
It’s April. The cows are mooing. the cacti are plentiful. You feel calm.
Towards a strange little podium walks a man. He’s holding something in his hand.
The people watching are upset with him.
Over the catcalls, he manages to utter some words.
These words sound like Celine Dion’s voice at the end of Titanic
Except this time Rose moves over on the stupid cabin door and makes room for Jack.
“AND WITH THE FIRST PICK, IN THE 2018 NFL DRAFT, THE NEW YORK GIANTS SELECT,” __________________________
(insert Josh Rosen, Sam Darnold, Josh Allen on that cute little line – just not Baker Mayfield. But I digress.)
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You: “WE OWE ELI MORE THAN THIS!!!!”
All the rest of us: “You guys don’t even know what state you play in. Calm down.”
New York radio host Mike Francesa is clearly in the “How can you do this to Manning-royalty???” corner.
He ripped the Giants as an organization, saying in part, “…in a year where they’re going nowhere, not the way you pay back someone for the career he’s had here…This quarterback earned a lot more than that – was owed a lot more than that here.”
Francesa then asks one of the best rhetorical questions about this situation: “Was he owed five more games here before you decide to move on?”
Great rhetorical question, because the answer is clearly, “NO!!!!”
Let’s go over this, G-fanatics:
You want Rosen/Darnold/Allen?
Yes
You may have to move up in the draft to get them (which they will) but you don’t wanna have to give up the farm to do it?
Where are you going with this?
Keep losing.
The 49ers already beat you and are about to start Jimmy Garroppolo.
The Colts will find a way to stop losing (though they’re really trying hard, blowing all these leads) and the Browns….OK you got me there.
If you can just manage to continue to stink the rest of the year, you might not have to move up at all! You could be sitting pretty at No. 2 overall throwing a party knowing that you’re getting one of the young-guns from So-Cal.
You know what happens if you give Eli the Grand-Old-Sendoff-He-Deserves? Several items:
1 – You probably win a few more games down the stretch – and still don’t make the playoffs. In fact you still can’t even spell plyaofs you’re so out of contention
2 – You now have to give up more to move up to get one of the Cali-Cool kids
3 – You don’t have enough juice to move up high enough, miss out on all the quarterbacks this year, and now you’re the Jaguars – without the running game (and Tom Coughlin)
OK that last one was a cheap shot. Doesn’t make it untrue.
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You: “EII GIVES US THE BEST CHANCE TO WIN!!!”
The rest of us: “Ugh, haven’t we been over this? OK Fine, let’s talk this thing out.”
Bad News: there are a lot of teams with good or great quarterbacks who have a chance to win the Super Bowl every year. Only one gets to actually win it annually.
Worse News: Exactly zero teams with bad quarterbacks have a chance to win the Super Bowl.
This isn’t 2000. Stop giving me “But Trent Dilfer and the Ravens…”
It’s 2017. You have to pass the ball to win now. The rules have been skewed so far to the side of favoring the offense, we may never see another defense dominate like that 2000 Ravens team.
Let’s face facts: Eli isn’t a good quarterback. You could make an argument that he hasn’t EVER been a good quarterback.
“TWO SUPER BOWLS!!!”
(I can hear you, you don’t have to shout.)
That’s great. You caught Mario-Manningham-shaped lightening in a bottle and taped Velcro to David Tyree’s noggin a few times and THAT is why the Giants should keep Eli?
Blind test: Who’s Who?
Go ahead. Guess.
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I’ll wait
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Had to throw Phil Rivers in there as a direct comparison for obvious reasons, and Trent Dilfer, you know, just for fun, to show HOW GOOD that 2000 Ravens defense was.
Forget about the fact that guys like Trent Green and Jon Kitna completed passes at a higher rate than Eli over the course of their careers, or that Eli has thrown more interceptions per game than everyone on this list except Kitna.
Just look at Joe Flacco. The Ravens have shut out three teams in 2017. And thank goodness. Because if that defense wasn’t so good, the cops would be outside the team’s practice facility with a negotiations team trying to get Flacco to let some front-office personnel go because that contract of his is holding them hostage.
Flacco stinks. You’ve watched him play. You’ve said to yourself, “man, Flacco really has fallen off since that Super Bowl run.”
Amazing what happens when you take all the emotion out of it, huh.
Sad news: He’s better than Eli, probably even better over the course of their careers.
Use the numbers. Eli throws one more touchdown every four games than Flacco. Jersey-Joe throws less picks and completes balls at a higher rate.
Giants fans, listen up. You don’t want to be the Ravens. This is a blessing in Genoian form! You don’t owe Eli Manning one thing. You’ve actually given him what you owed him: you paid him a whole bunch of money to stare back at you like that. And yes, he won two Super Bowls.
Congrats!!!! Yayyyy!!!
Now put the pom-poms away and realize that you’ve just been done a favor.
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You: “THIS JUST ISN’T THE RIGHT THING TO DO!!!!!”
The rest of us: (collective forehead slap)
You’re absolutely right. This is cold. It’s unfeeling.
For a man who has brought two Super Bowl trophies home to East Rutherford, New York (er, um….) – how can you treat him like this????
Here’s the thing: there’s only one other team in the NFL who goes the cold, unfeeling route. There’s only one other team who would rather have icicles for fingertips than give Olaf-y warm hugs: the Patriots.
And what do the Patriots do?
They win.
A lot.
Why do they win? Because they are not paralyzed by the notion of keeping-at-all-costs the players who have helped them win. The list of men who have helped the Patriots to Super Bowls only to be given their walking papers is actually pretty incredible:
Willie McGinest.
Thanks for playing.
Mike Vrabel.
You were a pleasure.
Asante Samuel.
Mr. Pick-6 we’re gonna miss you (Not really!!!!)
Richard Seymour.
Thanks my man.
Adam Vinatieri.
Sorry, Adam. We know we Gostowski this.
Ty Law.
We fought the Law, the Law didn’t win.
Lawyer Milloy
We have better attorneys here.
Deion Branch (Super Bowl MVP – by the way).
We’d have cut the other Deion, too.
Drew Bledsoe
Sorry man. Sixth-rounder from U-Mich can run our system. But you make great wine.
Wes Welker
Brady will find a new best friend
Want to know just how cold the blood in New England runs?
In November of 2014, a running back that no one outside of South Bend, Indiana had ever heard of – Jonas Gray – rushed 37 times for 201 yards and four touchdowns in a win over a Lions’ team that was leading its division.
That same week, the whole rest of the NFL had four rushing touchdowns. Pretty impressive stuff.
Five days later, his iPhone battery died overnight. He did not wake up in time for practice and was late.
Not a problem for a potentially emerging player, right?
Two days after his tardiness, he played in his team’s game, and carried the ball once – for four yards.
He would have just 23 more carries over the final seven weeks of the season, only four coming in the postseason, he watched in street clothes as his team won the Super Bowl and he was cut in the offseason.
Welcome to, actually it’s more like goodbye from, the Patriots.
Unlike you, Big Blue, the Patriots didn’t settle after making and winning like 31 Super Bowls in the Brady-Bill era. They didn’t even panic when they lost to you twice. They go with what’s best for the organization. Don’t like it? Get out. We’ll keep winning.
Today, you just got a little more Patriot-like.
You can thank Jerry Reese later.
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